IT. . . .

Starts all over again...
Body Scan next week and then brain MRI in about a month.
See how things look after being off steroids.                                              
Saw my Onc today and she also suggested that there is
a low dose diuretic that may help reduce swelling in my head,
and that might help with the nausea..
Ah hello, why hasn't anyone else suggested this??
I'm just having a fucking grand old time here.
Not my usual cheerful self at this point and I'm just not feeling it.
I'm not trying to have a pity party here, but I feel broken,
and I feel like shit most of the time.
After the 2 seizures, things really changed, got off steroids
and mostly things are better, but I have my days.
I still can't really make plans with friends because how I feel changes
from hour to hour, and that really sucks,
I feel isolated and that makes me sad.
It's kinda like whats the point, so I don't ask anymore and then at least,
I'm not a flake that cancels all the time.  
I know this too shall pass, but I'm kinda getting impatient over here!
UGH!!!

SO. . . .

Today is the first day in a long time that I actually feel pretty good.
Although somewhat of a cluster fuck.  I went to my Dr. to have blood drawn, (really convenient) Cindy is really good at getting my veins as they suck big time.  One of my Dr's. thinks that my keppra level is too high and that may be causing all of this nausea, so lets do a blood test and check the level, easy right...WRONG  Requires a special tube that my Dr doesn't carry.
I offer to drive over and get the right tubes to help out, the guy at the lab didn't want to give me the tubes...fucker! I persuaded him to give me the vials..ha ha, go back to my Dr's. office then we couldn't get my veins to produce enough blood, so we tried another vein and someone else took my wrist...yeah, I'm the human pin cushion.  My veins suck and I really can only use my left arm, hand, wrist...lucky me my wrist..... so long story short....they get almost 1/2 of a tube filled, then maybe 1/4 of another.  I feel bad because these veins are so tough...Oh well I am hoping we got enough so we can get the levels and find out what the hell is going on.
UGH!!!
Thank you Cindy and Denise!!!

NOT. . . .

Too much going on.  Still waiting for effects of steroids to go away, I'm still bloated, not crying as much so hopefully this crap is getting out of my system.
Waiting for news of when I'm having my next full body scan, guess it just never really stops.
My breast is hurting less but surgery site still sore, guess that's to be expected...
Well that's it for now.... ye ha

GOOD. . . .

News, the tumor was benign.
Had surgery last Friday and I will have a tiny scar and honestly not too much discomfort although it still hurts.  Does that make sense??  Oh well. . . .
Still feeling some effects from the roids I've stopped taking.  face and neck still swollen, and I still cry at the drop of a hat...so I'm like, when the hell is this gonna stop and when will my face return to normal ??
UGH!!!!

YIPEEE

Going to the Dr today,,,for a change something new...but not really
see if she can get all the stuff together for my surgery on Friday, just not sure what shes doing yet.
Right now I think it's a biopsy , I'll know on Friday,,,Oh Boy, just having more fun than I can stand right now!

I....

Think someone hacked into my blog as I deleted the last post, they tried to write like me, but not even close FUCKER don't mess around with someone that has cancer, you suck who ever you are!

AH.....

Yeah, that's about it really.  Well that and thank God for MJ, am not kidding about that one.  Honestly, I don't know what I'd be doing if I couldn't do this.  I'm not hungry, most of the time I'm nauseous, so food is the last thing on my mind. It's strange because I was so hungry before and would go to lunch or at least go get something, now I look at most food and I want to throw up.

I'm not on chemo so I'm guessing it's all of these shitty little pills they make me take.

I switched over to prednisone, they "upped" the dose....just what I friggin wanted.  but alas, he's now cutting me down to 1 a day and then none on Wed...that's when I see Dr.A...and with any luck I might be done those nasty nasty pills.  Face and neck still swollen from the decadron, last time on prednisone I had the big round face thing...so I wonder what the hell I'm going to look like when this part is over.....

The itching is still going on, so I look like I have fleas, or some kind of tick ....my head won't stop itching...brain radiation...simply lovely!!

lets see....my poor skin is like paper thin and along with this itching...ugh   benedryl I guess is all that will help until I get off of this shit.

So the latest and greatest..about the lumpity lump that is a bump...1st I get oh, looks like some kind of fat thing...really interesting, your breast is made up of fat things...idiot...

So I'm once again, "no changes"  interesting because the lump wasn't there in Oct.  So my wonderful Dr and Surgeon decided that they want an biopsy as after all this triple neg and we should just be watching....

Really??  makes me feel a whole lot better though, if it is it's out if it isn't it may still be out, I have no idea and am not going to guess, just want to get on with it.

Also going to take the braca 1 test....whooo hooo 

Truth be told, I want these these steroids, I'd like to stop crying all the time, I think my hubby is going to commit me.  UGH