wow. ..

haven't written since Monday...
I have been trying REALLY hard this week to get my mental shit together, since my shit quota has been filled up. By this I mean I have tried to have a more positive attitude, try and make myself feel better mentally, try not to constant cry, ummmmm and all of the stuff.
Is it working, did it work? A little bit. so that's good.
My face now looks like a big round pumpkin and there are eyes here someplace, I'm just not crying each time I look at myself in the mirror, because I don't recognize myself, and to be completely honest I feel very self conscious around people that know know me because they know I look different, and well, this is just one more thing to endure. I'm doing it but. . . . . . .
like I said my shit quota is FULL.
Ok, so Ann my wig buddy, set me up for a positive week, she takes no credit but I lovingly give it.
We got a wig, she helped me, said I was never going to get one, but I am glad I did.
I went to the market today, like at 7:30 am, when no one is there, except for the people that work there. . . . .I'm looking for ready made chocolate pudding. . .getting my drift. I find this really nice lady stocking shelves, and asked if she could find me some, and my wig way like halfway up the font of my head.....SHIT QUOTA....she comes back, what could I say, I pulled it down, I said, 1st day I'm wearing a wig, not too good at it yet...LOL
What I want to know, shouldn't I have learned how to put this thing on my head on Monday when I bought it, or do they just kinda let you walk out with it, and just show you how to make it tighter?
I'm still not really clear, and don;t want any more "funny" moments, although if it's going to happen I guess better me than some??
JEEZ...
Well no more typing for now, hands killing me... I love my Chemo and it loves me!