December. . . .

28th already?
Wow where did the year go?
My Bald and itchy head says it should at least be Feb. by now!
I had to go back on the roids, and I am going to try to taper again tomorrow.
I've been on a full dose for a week, and then I will be on a half dose for a couple of weeks and maybe the swelling will have gone down by then. I won't really know until I try but I am really sick of this.
I take for granted that the brain radiation caused more trauma to my brain and I guess I just am impatient with my healing, but then again that probably sounds strange as I've done so well.
I'll just go with impatient for now.

Good. . . .

news! Got prelim MRI results yesterday and there are no new growths or re-growths.
I do have some hemorrhaging at the surgical site, and some swelling still, so back on the roids for a little bit.
I've lost 5 lbs. Eric and I thought it would be more as I literally have no appetite. This must be like when someone has a bypass surgery or something.
Food looks good, well some things look or sound good, and I'm good for about 1 maybe 2 bites, and then most likely no dinner. That's about it. Dr Kaul thinks it has something to do with all of the roids, the swelling, the gastric issues . ..who the hell knows.
I started double dose of prilosec to stop the nausea, and food wise, it's not like I can't stand to loose a few more lbs, so. . . .
For now, I'll focus on the positive

Well. . . .

tomorrow is Brain MRI day. Can't wait.
How I've been feeling. . . .
tired, dizzy vertigo on and off and like I'm going to barf most of the time.
whats going on???
Hope I get results by Thursday and it's all clear.

well. . . .

My Internet seems to be working now. But I realized I still haven't written anything in a while.
I went to the dermo yesterday and she gave me a ton of stuff ...rx wise... to get this crap cleared up that I am still experiencing.
Yes WBR, the gift that keeps on giving. Cradle cap (crap) and all!
I have the faded sunburn on my forehead that never seems to stop peeling, along with they mysterious bumps that itch on my forehead and on my neck behind my ears.
And scar update, *(or my trap door as I like to now refer to it), it still hurts.
And....while I'm at it, my scalp hurts. Like the little tiny hairs and I mean tiny seem to rub on my pillow at night and it's like something moving the wrong way and it friggin hurts. Only thing is, there is just like no hair, so is it the hair follicle??
While I'm on a roll, my right breast is itching like crazy again, to be completely truthful, I haven't even told Eric about this, I feel like it's back...in my breast that is, or it's coming back. I can't shake it and it's not a wish but so help me god if it is , it's coming off and maybe both of them because I can't live like this. It haunts me.
I've got my primary this am, and I'm going to ask her to give me feel, and I've got my brain MRI on Tuesday I have Dr. Kaul, so I will tell her whats going on , of course.
And for "food for thought" on my part, I am seriously considering starting another blog.
A mother/daughter one. I can't write here about all of that stuff, but I really think that writing about whats going on and how I feel really helps me.
Hmmmm

Wow. . . .

I just thought it'd been a couple of days since I last posted, it's been like 2 weeks!
It's like waking up every morning and wondering what day it is. I was convinced yesterday was Tuesday. I hate when that happens.
It's been a few days without steroids which is great in one way and horrible in another.
Great because I've wanted to be off for so long now and I'm hoping I don't have to go back on them like the last time. Bad, because my body hurts and I am sooooo tired. I can drag myself out a little in the am, but my late morning, forget it.
I was supposed to start walking on Monday but I don't have the energy. I feel like crap. I'm sure if I go back and read, I'll see this is what happened the last time, or the time before, or???
My forehead has just about peeled, now my ears look like I don't know how to wash them. No matter what lotion I put on, I am flakey, and because it's a faux tan, It looks dirty.
Never mind my bald head. That's a complete disaster. Dry, peeley, flakey...just gross in general and I am SICK of wearing shit on my head when ever I go out.
I am almost to the point where I don't care if you can see the trap door on the side of my head.
I already have an explanation if anyone stares or asks...." I was abducted by aliens and found in a field behind the bridal path! when I came to in the hospital they had no explanation as to what happened to my head...but every so often I feel a vibration and a loud series of beeps" fml