Well. . . .

I feel overwhelmed.
My Pet Ct was clear, "no visible signs" Dr. Miller will have read films today, but as of last and then confirmation w/Dr.Kaul today, my body is cancer free.
To say that is amazing.
When I heard this last night I was in shock and couldn't stop crying.
I'm so thankful, I am kind of speechless. Hard to believe I know.....
Today was also the last day of my brain radiation, next week I can start tapering off the steroids, big YAY there!!
I see Dr. Miller 2nd week of November, and then will have my Brain MRI end of Dec, and when that comes back clear I can really breath.
So one more test to go, and I am really sure the radiation took care of any floaters in my head and I'll be clear.
I have so much to be thankful for, I am just overwhelmed with emotions.
Then on the more typical side of my thought process,
I'm sitting in Onc. office and Kim is drawing like 12 tubes of blood...yeah me the vein challenged, and we just can't seem to get a good flow.
and what am I doing while she's attempting to suck the blood out of me?
I'm humming "if I only had a brain" ha ha
I hope she didn't think I was referring to her.
They had the Wizard of OZ in in the waiting room and everyone was dressed up like the Wizard of Oz there, so really it was only natural for me to do this.
Leslie, I'm sure you'll agree. . . :P

Up. . . .

my dose again....by 1/2 oh yeah, hello sweats.
Is it Friday yet???

Scan. . . .

done.
Results on Friday.
I am exhausted today!
Tomorrow is first of three high powered radiation doses, then I'm done!
Is it Friday yet?????

Ok. . . .

tomorrow is the Pet CT...why on earth would they tell me I have to drink some disgusting thing that tastes like soap?
Now that's all I can think about and how I'm going to refuse to do it.
I seriously would have preferred not to know this!!
YUCK!!!
This is in addition to the injection, which I can handle, but drinking stuff, I'm not good at that.
After everything I've been through right, should be a piece of cake, well that would be a no, at least right now it's a no.
Tomorrow is also my last low dose of radiation, then I get the three bigger ones, and then will be done on Friday.
Which is also when I'll get my scan results. . . . .
I want to be done with all of this!!

As. . . .

expected, my hair is coming out.
I wonder if I don't touch it if it will stay on my head?? Hmmm, what if there is wind??
Yes, I know I lost it all with chemo, but this time I buzzed my head, I didn't shave it like the 1st time. The 1st time I buzzed then shaved.
Guess I better figure out how to wear these stupid scarves I bought. . . .
So glad I didn't go this am, I needed a day off. Next week will be five days, plus the Pet Ct on Tuesday.
Ok, here I go again.

Taking. . . .

a break tomorrow...thank God.
I don't care if I have 5 days next week, My scalp is driving me CRAZY!!!
Maybe this way I won't be fried over the weekend. . . . .

So. . . .

tired today, feel like I didn't sleep all night, but I did.
My scalp is really hurting, and according to Steve, my Tech guy this am, my hair is getting ready to fall out.
As I lightly tug on it, out it comes. (it's already so short)....
So I just don't know how this round grows back as Dr. Miller said it should grow back, but may not completely.
Ok I am going to buy nioxin, or one of those hair growth shampoos, but I think I will wait till after next week is over to start using it.
Yeah.
Other than that, today is a little better emotionally.
Next week, NOT looking forward to PET Scan. Just gotta get through that one. Can't freak out on that.
When all of this shit is over I want to take a real trip. Like anyplace not in California.