you write about the things that keep you up at night, or the thoughts that you wake up with in the morning? I wonder.
Seems like lately they are one in the same.
Seems like lately I am questioning everything about myself, what's going on, what has gone on, and where I'm headed, as a person, as a mother, spiritually.
Getting fired put me in to a tail spin.
Not just because I lost my job, although that in itself doesn't really help matters.
Timing wise, couldn't be worse, but is there really ever a good time?
I can be positive, not talk about it, that way everyone is comfortable around me, but honestly I have never felt so worthless.
My self worth has always been so tied to what I do, how I produce, how I feel about taking care of my customers, my business, and that's all gone.
Just ripped away. Without a warning or discussion.
So I can say to myself, I'll be ok, I'll get through this, all of that, and I know I will, but it doesn't change what happened, doesn't change how I feel, and doesn't change anything.
I have no education, am going to be 51, recovering from cancer/going through cancer treatment and that is the reality of my situation.
I will start thinking about some classes or some kind of certificate program, or school, but I have no clue in what direction to go. Other than at this point I am done with sales!
The wish? Not to be at this place at this point in my life.
The reality? I am, get my shit together.