Monday, September 20, 2010

It's. . . .

been awhile since I've written anything. There has been so much going on and I just haven't really made the time to sit down and put my thoughts together.
I get my bone scan results back today when I see Dr. Kaul and I really feel like everything is fine.
I need to talk to her about the itching though, still driving me crazy!
I've got Gamma # 3 on Wed. and I'm not looking forward to it. I'd really like to be done this with already, but I guess this is what's going to be the hardest to get rid of.
So I've just got to go with it.
What is weighing heavily on my mind is Hannah.
We got her moved and I do miss miss her, but not in a weepy way. Many people told me It would be so hard and I'd cry a lot, but to be completely honest I haven't. I think about her constantly though. when I skyped with her yesterday I did cry when I saw her, maybe the realization set in that she's gone?? I don't really know how to explain it.
I cleaned her room and bathroom, I plan to straighten out her drawers.
Maybe after going through everything I've gone through her going off to college just won't bother me in the way I thought it might? hmmm.
What I think about the most is really stupid..... is she sleeping enough, and eating and is she going to get back in the water and get ready for her tryout?
Can I go see her next weekend, is that too soon? With Gamma on Wed. I'll be too tired to drive by myself on Sat. and the next Sat. are tryouts so that won't be a good day to go.
So that's where I'm at.
We've told her since she was little that college comes after high school to let her know what to expect, maybe in a way that's helped me too. hmmm.

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