Friday, September 10, 2010

Today. . . .

is Friday right?
For some reason I keep forgetting what day it is.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we are only a few days away from moving Hannah into college.
All of a sudden we have all these last minute things to get?? I decided to move everything downstairs (from the spare room to the living room) so we can go through it all.
What a colossal mess!
On top of all of all of this I got my Brain MRI results back yesterday, fun stuff...
Well, what do they say? third time's a charm?? what exactly does that mean? what the hell is a charm anyway? and why do we even say that?
Oh yeah, like I was saying. . .Brain MRI, yeah. . .
So I will be doing Gamma a third time as there is something else growing in my head as he suspected.
No new mets, but just a continuation of the tumor that won't die. Is that like one of those old Asian horror movies?. . .the blob, the thing, the tumor that won't die?
How do I feel about all of this. . .hmmmm. . . that's a really good question.
Being as though Hannah was sitting there when he told us, I didn't burst into tears like I normally would have, I saved that for later. I'm just do SICK of this. I mean I can do this, and I will do this and I will be strong, but I just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want my life measured in two and three month increments.
And then again, as Dr. A said, we don't know if/how this can affect my memory this time. The tumor doesn't seem to be deep, but he can't say for sure because of where this is located. And if someone else says don't worry about it, I think I am going to scream.
Time to process this, yet again.

1 comment:

  1. o Judy - i am feeling for you every step of the way. my offer for you to join my informal local breast cancer support group still stands. we gather again this Saturday for brunch in Studio City. i will be wearing my surgical bra and dressings...