Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tuesday. . . . . .

ok, so chemo #2....10 more weeks to go
It would seem that I now have some kind of inner ear infection on top of everything else. This just sucks.
How am I supposed to be positive and feel better emotionally and spiritually when I feel like shit physically? How did I get to this place?
One good thing today I think I may be going to a cancer retreat in October ...I am waiting to get more info from them.
I am also thinking about doing the 3-day in October 2010....it will take about a year for me to train considering I have 10 more weeks of chemo then radiation...and for how long that goes I have no idea at this point.
I saw my reg Dr. today too and she is going to try to translate what the Onc Dr told me, because I have no idea what is going on, other than 10 weeks of chemo and radiation.
It's so frustrating not to know what is coming or at least (at the very least) what to expect. I think this is why I am so upset. Because I have no knowledge, and I don't want to just research because my situation has nothing to do with someone else's (sorry someone else)
I don't what what a marker is, how we determine what it is or what mine is if I even have it.
I don't know when I see the Rad Dr, how long that will last..or who he/she even is
I don't know if I am having another mamo or pet ct, if I am when, what does that determine
I don't know if the cancer is gone, if it's spread
I don't want to be told, "oh it will be fine" or "it will work"
I just want some basic information so that I have knowledge and I feel like I know what is going on with my body and my cancer.
Is this too unreasonable?

2 comments:

  1. Judy...hang in there. I found your blog while I was doing research on TNBC because a friend of mine is trying to raise awareness of this disease because her sister passed away. I'm hoping the best for you with the treatments. Can you let me know what got you started with the online blog and if you feel there are any online resources which are missing.

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  2. I feel that journaling in some fashion is really important. Many of my friends, especially in the beginning had so many questions, and to be honest it was much easier for me to share /type up and get my info out without having a ton of phone calls. I opted for the public forum because I feel that if my info reaches one person and it helps in some way that thats a good thing.
    Some days I rant, feel sorry for myself, think i'm funny...what ever I feel.
    what is missing?? an online support group for breast cancer. I found one...just one, and nothing for TNBC, aside from the webiste which is located on the left side of the my blog.
    Hope all goes well for your friend!

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