Sunday, November 1, 2009

Sun. . .

morning....waking up to running to the bathroom is really getting old. Chemo stopped last week, what the hell is going on?
Hannah is sick, no ODP. guess it's a good thing, not like I can drive out there right now anyway.
I can't seem to catch a break.
I REALLY wanted to go out for breakfast too. I was thinking I would drop her off and go order breakfast from some place and sit in my car and eat it. I am craving french toast. and not the kind I make here, it's always soggy. it's not like I would go order and sit in coffee shop by myself out in Claremont...where ever the hell Claremont is anyway. . . . yes breakfast for one. . .
Ok, and the Bubba is working. . .it's Sunday.
I did take a sleeping pill so I could sleep last night, but I'm pretty groggy still. Am I going to start feeling different this week? how does this work now?
Honestly, I'm pretty scared about the Radiation, probably because it's something different that I don't really know about. I just really want to feel good and have a good day today. That's really the bottom line here.
See how my mind jumps, sleep, make no sense. I'm all jumbled up in here.
the Chemo Scramble...yesterday I started crying for no reason in the car...I have got to get off of these steroids. . . .
and while I am rambling, I am not sure about this group thing I have been invited to join. Not sure if it's right for me, I got an email from a person with the same kind of cancer. hers has reoccurred, and her email was strange to me, because how do you introduce yourself to someone you don't know, say Hi, you've just gone through your 1st round of chemo, heard you might be joining our group..Well mines back, blah blah blah... tell me about yours. . . .ummmmmm, hmmm. Gotta think about this. Not the approach I would use, so I am still in the thinking phase here.
I'm in the thinking phase really with everything, like contacting people to clear the air, not good at it, but it's gotta be done, so we can move on right? wish me luck, could work out, could be a disaster.
but I have limited typing time here, the bathroom calls, yet again.

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